A not so little spider worked overtime last night at our house. I found this out the hard way this morning as I left for church. I opened the front door, then reached for the screen-door and proceeded to step out of the house. Well I did not get to far. This very industrious spider on steroids and amped up by lots of caffeine had built a web between the doors that covered from the top of door four feet down solid, overnight.
As the I got caught in the web I felt like Frodo from “The Lord of the Rings,” hanging in my front door. I figure I better fight free or this spider may be eating good for a year. After doing a girly dance to free myself of any web remnants that had encompassed my upper-body. I looked up and down the street to see if anyone saw me looking like Elaine from Seinfeld.
Whew! No one was outside. Masculinity still in check.
I decided I better take care of my manly duties of being the killer of bugs and the lifter of heavy things and go to war with this spider. After frantically swinging with a fly swatter, I needed something a little bigger to lay waste to my adversary…
SLEDGEHAMMER!!! Yep that will be just about the right size.
One giant SPLAT and VICTORY was mine.
Now all I ask for are trumpets to sound as I enter a room and a cry to go out, “All hail Ted the Spider Slayer!”
Ted Goodwin is a speaker and author of the book “Lessons from a Headache.” In June of 2009 Ted was diagnosed with a “chronic daily migraine” headache. Despite constant pain since the headache began, Ted has not allowed it to stop him from living life to the full. He lives a life that is active, rewarding and full of joy. He diligently trained for and completed his first marathon in September 2010, despite the migraine.
Did you really use the sledgehammer? When I get home are we going to Menard’s for a new door? :!
I watched our mailman do the Elaine dance as he stepped onto out front porch one day. That night I noticed that I have a rather tenacious ‘Charlotte’ who nightly spins her web across my front porch entrance. Now I go out in the morning to knock it down for the mailman to deliver!