I’m the main course?


A not so little spider worked overtime last night at our house. I found this out the hard way this morning as I left for church. I opened the front door, then reached for the screen-door and proceeded to step out of the house. Well I did not get to far. This very industrious spider on steroids and amped up by lots of caffeine had built a web between the doors that covered from the top of door four feet down solid, overnight.

As the I got caught in the web I felt like Frodo from “The Lord of the Rings,” hanging in my front door.  I figure I better fight free or this spider may be eating good for a year.  After doing a girly dance to free myself of any web remnants that had encompassed my  upper-body. I looked up and down the street to see if anyone saw me looking like Elaine from Seinfeld.

Whew! No one was outside. Masculinity still in check.

I decided I better take care of my manly duties of being the killer of bugs and the lifter of heavy things and go to war with this spider.  After frantically swinging with a fly swatter, I needed something a little bigger to lay waste to my adversary…

SLEDGEHAMMER!!! Yep that will be just about the right size.

One giant SPLAT and VICTORY was mine.

Now all I ask for are trumpets to sound as I enter a room and a cry to go out, “All hail Ted the Spider Slayer!”


Ted Goodwin is a speaker and author of the book “Lessons from a Headache.” In June of 2009 Ted was diagnosed with a “chronic daily migraine” headache. Despite constant pain since the headache began, Ted has not allowed it to stop him from living life to the full. He lives a life that is active, rewarding and full of joy. He diligently trained for and completed his first marathon in September 2010, despite the migraine.

2 Thoughts

  1. I watched our mailman do the Elaine dance as he stepped onto out front porch one day. That night I noticed that I have a rather tenacious ‘Charlotte’ who nightly spins her web across my front porch entrance. Now I go out in the morning to knock it down for the mailman to deliver!

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