drowning

I have a few fears in my life, like heights, I’m a little claustrophobic and especially the fear of drowning. Now these fears do not grip me to the point that they stop me from doing too many things in my life. I have jumped out of a perfectly good airplane when I parachuted with a friend (it was worth doing ONCE).

Today I experienced fear like never before. I was paralyzed in my bed this morning with fear of the day running through my head. The thoughts of all that could or might happen literally pinned me to the bed. I laid there curled up in a ball with tears flowing from my eyes and shortened breaths as dread encased me in its tomb.

I’m fearful of the allergy shots reaction and what the rest of a very painful day may become. I’m fearing the chance of relapsing with my addiction and having to start all over, which I don’t know if I can do again. So I stepped out the door in faith that God has me today. I feel like Indiana Jones taking the leap of faith.

I’m writing this from the Doctors office and this fear has me so bad that my blood pressure which is normally 105/60 is elevated to 120/70.  I know this is all worry and stress but right now f.e.a.r. has me wanting to do this Forget Everything and Run. However, what I want to run to is not where I should go and it will only make everything worse.  So this is what I will choose to believe about f.e.a.r. – False Evidence Appearing Real.  I’m trusting God and hopefully will be reaching out to my friends for support.

Left foot out….and step one….

 

Ted Goodwin is a speaker and author of the book “Lessons from a Headache.” In June of 2009 Ted was diagnosed with a “chronic daily migraine” headache. Despite constant pain since the headache began, Ted has not allowed it to stop him from living life to the full. He lives a life that is active, rewarding and full of joy. He diligently trained for and completed his first marathon in September 2010, despite the migraine.