The vise has been torqued down once again. Four great weeks without a single spike has all been wiped clean. Today the normal pain level went through the roof. So much so that wild visions entered my head of a complete psychotic breakdown. Where I was screaming like a mad man and beating my head against a brick wall and enjoying the pain. I’m not sure what the next step even is at this point all I know is I want out. This pain is driving me insane and the thoughts that have entered my head worry me. The options are limited and choices are few on the good side. The dark side screams with tons of so called fun options none of which are safe, healthy or right. I believe this is all for a reason but right now I’m lost in the pain. Lost in this so called exsistence. At this point I’ve cried so much all I can do is laugh. Does that mean the guys with the straight jackets are coming soon?
Well here’s to my next procedure anyone want to join me?
I’m still wanting to believe God has me. I want to believe, I want to believe… NO, I have to believe!
Ted Goodwin is a speaker and author of the book “Lessons from a Headache.” In June of 2009 Ted was diagnosed with a “chronic daily migraine” headache. Despite constant pain since the headache began, Ted has not allowed it to stop him from living life to the full. He lives a life that is active, rewarding and full of joy. He diligently trained for and completed his first marathon in September 2010, despite the migraine.