perseverance

Dear Past,

Why do you keep raising your ugly head? You are done and over with and I don’t want to hear from you again. You are an unwelcome guest in the here and now. Why must you continue to haunt my life. This wound never seems to heal. I try to cover the pain with anything that will look good. I think I look good on the outside but inside I am dying. Hard work and success has not healed the wound. Addictions have only made things worse. It is like a never ending nightmare. I wake to find the “past” is still present.

I’m rotting from the inside and it hurts trying to get to the core. You’re like an onion each layer pulled back reveals more pain and anguish. And yet if I do not peel the past away I will be unable to escape from this pit.

I don’t want to tolerate you anymore, “past.” I want a future with hope and not regret. Winston Churchill once said, “If you are going through hell keep going.” So I choose to go through this hell and be healed and made whole, becuase I am more than my past.