Dancing through the pain


In life we celebrate all kinds of things, birthdays, wedding anniversaries, and graduations, just to name a few. But have you ever celebrated something bad that happened in your life? Celebrations are only for the good things, right? No one wants to bring up “the past” because that is where the bad things live that hold us down.

Five years ago, on June 23, 2009, I was hit with a migraine headache that has never left. That’s right, five years of a constant headache. It has been diagnosed as a “chronic daily migraine.” Since that day in June, I have had some level of pain from an unceasing pressure to extreme agony. You’re probably asking yourself, “What does this have to do with celebrating?”

I’m celebrating because the pain has changed me. In the beginning I was angry at God that He would not take this away. I didn’t understand why God would allow this to happen. I was a good person, I went to church and led ministries, why would He do this to me? Then I came to understand as I searched for answers that through the pain, God was teaching me.

God loves us where we are, but does not want to leave us there. He wants to draw us closer to Him and bring new adventures into our lives. I know five years of a migraine does not sound like a better life but from where I am now, there are reasons to celebrate. I have made friends that I would have never met. My attitude has been one of the biggest changes…now I’m so much more grateful for life itself. Being thankful for the small things that I never really thought of before, like heat, lights, food, waking each morning and taking that first deep breath and realizing I have another day on this earth. Learning to give thanks despite the pain has refocused how I view life.

I want the pain to be gone and would not wish this on anyone, but I have been so blessed by this time because I sought God. My prayers are different, rather than praying for my relief from the pain, I now pray for others. My heart has grown for others in pain. I hurt when I meet someone fighting this battle or other battles. A few years ago I would have felt sorry for them but not really prayed for them. Praying for others has brought a peace into my life. It has taken the focus off of “poor me,” to truly let me care for others. Having a heart for others is why good put us here.

So as the five year mark rolls by, I don’t celebrate the pain, I celebrate the change. I’m very thankful for this journey and can’t wait to see what’s next. I have come alive on God’s great dance floor…Let’s Dance!

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